One of the joys of travel is the opportunity to make ceaseless fun of the strange, foreign people you encounter and their strange habits. The Philippines is no different from any other place in this respect. So, for those of you who are considering a trip there, here are some helpful fun facts and tips...
People eat spaghetti for breakfast.
It's OK to put banana ketchup on eggs. It's not OK to put any type of ketchup on a hot dog.
It's considered extremely rude to smirk. But if you catch your wife with another man it is legal and expected that you will kill them both.
Black coffee is abhorrent. Proper coffee contains three parts Coffee-Mate, five parts sugar, one part coffee.
If a woman takes a shower during the wrong time of the month, she will get sick.
White people are known as Kano, short for Amerikano. Variations include British Kano, German Kano, Australian Kano, like that. An African-American is a Black Kano. A person from India is universally known as a Bombay.
If you play tong-it (a form of rummy) when someone is sleeping nearby, he will get sick and might die.
If you stretch immediately after eating, you will get sick.
There are no Cheerios or Wheaties in the grocery stores, even the upscale ones. No lack of opportunity to buy Coco Puffs, though.
Tang still has a place among the major food groups.
Jeepney drivers keep their gas cans right next to them. You can walk into the heaviest traffic and not get run over. The electricity is 220V, and grounding is achieved once there are no more sparks flying. But walking in the rain is dangerous, because you will get sick.
There is nothing funny about the names Bong, Blueboy, or Rommel. The name Roger invokes gales of laughter.
If you drink the water you'll be fine. But if you drink more than one Coke Lite per day, you'll get sick.